roar roar roar. to be continued........

lj is dead. lol. exams near means its ending soon. i prefer endings. i never like the intro. te wait is killing me. my mind is blowing up again.

anyways nyp here i come

when ur heart struggles. ur body gets pulled along.
When God talk to u, u simply follow along.

small acts makes u small. i realised that. HEY U I KNOW U R STARING AT MY POST READ IT. !!!!!
back to the topic. small acts. hmm i am referring to things like pretending and just creating chances on things. the same time we have neglected that time meant for glorious things. like study? and stuff.

obedience and wise actions are cool. i admit it is hard to follow. BUt i can say that it feels awesome if u do so.
i have done small acts better. hmm, it is foolish. I believe everything has got its season. many a times we compromise. we just ignore our plans ans desire and go ahead with the small acts. It makes us paranoid. yes it is true. ( this is my own feeling and reflection ah, not something from church k!?)

however thank God i can learn many things and change things this year. cool right?

i miss prefectorial board and the old era of pec. we had so much fun, sadness and angry moments .

pec we love to get together and just chiong sports till we DROP. plan sporting events and tekaning students(positive way) . those days we tao pok each other in our bunks, we disurn tom.
those days we prank juniors during camps hahaha. it is ending. oh well. but i hope the spirit lives on. Our attitude- play hard and harder. hahaha. we do not leave another pec behind. those days haha. probably gone. because i do not see it in the juniors. lol

pb- we bust smokers lol. no la only my gang. fun and dangers is our food.
prefect room is our home. we prank,sleep,fight,cry,laugh,change our clothings even.
well. it is not gonna be our room by next year. maybe it is their room. favourite type of tone of principal huh. (some get wat i mean)
it is sad to see the board tearing apart by others. i mean it is beyond our abilities to stop.
nothing can describe the pain.

well well well. council it is. pec plus pb. i admit it was partly my idea. but half. i wanted it to work together on certain events. BUT keeping to each other's culture and tradition. now our school's owner(principal) the boss wants them to combine and both stripped of their status. which is council.

i also admit i have my reasons to dislike councils in many way. it is another dinomination of pb lol. but i dont like it. it took away pec's sporting spirit. it also took away the diciplianry works of pb.
probably on ahandful of teachers are happy. but i am not. it may be for the better also for the worst. but i know for sure , my memories with my friends are no longer the same as our juniors. i still love my pb and pec. i hope ur dont go away. hard works are kinda lost. when new culture sets in.

B3 for chi. 3 grades improvement. hmm GOod i guess.
many more papers ahead.
i still dont feel really good. hmm..
i want to keep resting under His wings.
i am thinking about my future again. my wife. my children my job my house my car.
MY WIFE. hmm i think i want to know it sooner than i want to know what car i will be driving.

try crying yourself to sleep. stuck in the same situation , felt like there is nowhere to go.
spend a year not knowing whether is it wasted or not. dissappointment never fails me. now at this point, many things today just turn me upside down. really upside down. back in the same place same room at night all alone, knowing and fearing that the past will reenact suck.
same situation at the start of the year was bearable. asecond time is just too great. im afraid i cant hold on. i will hold on. but at this time with how things crash on me this time is unbearable. a thread cant take th weight of an elephant.
but i know i have to move on once again.

took me a year to feel the pain.
nothing to face to except God.
i cant feel.

it is hard to see people feel condemned. no! no!. if u feel condemn look for me. i am not perfect too. but i know of someone who is forever perfect.

i am feeling mixed. May be God is working in me now. i feel unwanted sometimes. and i do not want to be insignificant.
i dont want that certain issue to manifest. i dont know who is the future. but i know now i am feeling it again. i really dont want to confess. confession brings manifestation.
yet i wont deny that the feelings are true.

last dare i realise i am afraid of certain things. i always say i fear rejection. but the fact is, i fear LOVE.

life.
friday is always a day of fun and sports chiong-ing day.
those days of fun and chatting are alive again. haha.
feels good to see everyone being able to move on. i am and will . My status is stagnant for now but i have moved on with life.
haha i realised that i have moved on thats why life in school is not so good. my heart is no longer there, it has moved on. It hard but wat is life without crossroads and problems. oh ya + God, then life is whole.

oh well. no idea wat i wanna do in lj. roar. so brain dead. gonna sleep soon and church tomorrow with tin and jo. roar. cya